Playing time can have a huge impact on an athlete’s confidence. As competitive athletes, we all want meaningful minutes, whether that means earning a starting role or consistently contributing in games. We love the sport, so of course we want to play as much as possible! But as competition gets tougher, it becomes easy to let minutes define how we see ourselves.
I’ve seen athletes start to believe that not starting or not getting subbed in means they aren’t good enough, aren’t trusted, or aren’t as important as their teammates. Before long, those thoughts turn into comparisons, self-doubt, and a drop in confidence that affects not just performance, but identity.
Here’s the truth: those feelings are normal. Disappointment, confusion, anger, even jealousy are all valid. What matters most isn’t whether those emotions show up, but how quickly you can respond and shift your mindset. That ability can be the difference between staying stuck and becoming the athlete you want to be.
When playing time feels heavy, here are three questions I ask my athletes:
- What is your role on this team?
Are you the captain, the communicator, the energizer, the glue that holds everyone together, the strategist, or the stabilizer in high-pressure moments? Here’s the key: none of those roles are defined by minutes played. - Why did you fall in love with the sport in the first place?
What’s your “why”? Chances are, 5-year-old you wasn’t thinking, “I love this sport because I’m a starter.” We play because of joy, growth, connection, and challenge, not because of how long we are on the field. - What is actually in your control?
This part isn’t easy to hear: you’re never 100% in control of your playing time. You can influence it, but ultimately, that decision belongs to the coach. What is in your control is your effort, your attitude, and how you respond when things don’t go your way.
Playing time isn’t permanent, but the kind of athlete you choose to be is. Your value isn’t measured in minutes, a starting spot, or when your name gets called. It’s measured in how you show up, how you respond, and how you continue to adapt when things feel hard.
To learn more about how to navigate playing time challenges, strengthen your mindset, and stay confident regardless of your role, contact me today.
